Brian's Journey: Goodbye and God Bless, and a missed hug

I don't usually get texts early in the morning - especially at 5 am in the morning. I was lying in bed contemplating getting up when I heard the sound, from my phone that indicates that I had received a text. Even before I eventually read it I knew what it was going to be. It was a text from Brian's sister, Val, informing me that he had passed away at 3:45 AM January 15, 2015. His battle with Acute myeloid leukemia is over and he can now, finally rest. That last day in Seattle, the last time I saw him alive, he was lying on his back in the cancer ward being fed with the minerals that were being leached from his body by the myriad pills he took. As men often do when they part, we exchanged pleasantries and he thanked me for being there to help. I wished him well and told him that I would see him later when he was back home in Spokane. We shook hands and I went home to Albuquerque and my life. 

A few weeks later Brian was back home in Spokane and had even driven down the Tri-Cities area for a job interview. There was hope for life. His sister traveled Spokane for Christmas, they all thought that it might be their last one with their mother, who is suffering from Alzheimer's. Not a week after Val returned home to Santa Fe I received a text from her saying could I come get the dogs and that Brian only had a few days left.  His AML had come back with a vengeance and there was nothing the Doctors could do. That was on January 3. The doctors gave him 4 maybe 5 days, he made it 12 days!! He was a fighter.

Brian spent his last days in a beautiful Hospice in Spokane; the same one in which his father Bob spent his last days. There is a certain bitter sweetness to that, given that Brian was there when we moved Bob to his final home. Spokane Hospice House is an amazing place with incredibly caring nurses. They are angels in disguise. 

I often wonder why men don't hug more. It is a wonderful way to share yourself with another; it is a wonderful way to express that you care. So our last moments together was a last and missed chance for two brothers to hug. It is hard to hold back the tears as I write and think about how much I am going to miss Brian. When I left Seattle there was hope that all would be well and Brian could resume his life - it didn't happen. 

I prefer not to remember Brian as a sick man but as he was in the picture taken in 2006, when we were all in Chicago for a big Day-Family reunion, wearing a glow ring and joking with other members of his family. This was the Brian that was alive and healthy and celebrating life to its fullest. 

REST IN PEACE BRIAN JOHN DAY August 24, 1961 - January 15, 2015